


Don't Look Back

by Skylar0Grace



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-03
Updated: 2010-03-03
Packaged: 2017-11-27 18:58:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/665348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylar0Grace/pseuds/Skylar0Grace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Forgetting doesn't always mean forgetting...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One: Frame Your Picture?

**Author's Note:**

> My submission for the D.A.T. Challenge using table four. Written for [](http://x-spikeaholic-x.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://x-spikeaholic-x.livejournal.com/)**x_spikeaholic_x**  .

* * *

Faith shrugged around the leather jacket, finally quelling the urge to scream as she hastily took it off and threw it on the ground. It had been years since she had last worn that jacket. She'd found it in an old storage locker she had forgotten existed, along with some other memorabilia from her time on her own. She'd thrown most of it out, memories that were too hard to resurface – for her own sanity.

But the jacket she had kept. It had been a gift from her first Watcher, a sort of 'welcome to the family' and a chance for a new start. It was still in great condition, except for the missing button, and miraculously still fit her. The weight she'd put on around the time of her incarceration had dropped off quickly after the Slayers had been called and stayed off as she worked overtime to train them. Not that she'd been overweight by any means but her skinny figure had given way to a healthier one as she sat and thought about her past mistakes in her tiny cell.

As she glared at the jacket on the ground, she noticed a piece of paper poking out from the pocket. Unsure about whether or not she wanted to read it, she bent down slowly and tentatively reached out her fingers.

It wasn't paper, that much was obvious as she slid it from the pocket, but she was at a loss to what a photo would be doing in her pocket. She had had no family, no reason to immortalise the face of someone she knew. As she turned the photo over and her gaze fell upon the familiar visage, her heart stopped and the world fell silent.

She shook her head. It couldn't be. Why now? Why at all? She'd left that part of her life behind, burned all connections to it, just like she had been burned and vowed to never again let herself be vulnerable. Nothing would ever break down those walls she had perfected building as she grew up and with her Watcher dead and him gone, it had seemed like an honest vow to make.

His grinning face stared up at her and she was so completely absorbed by the half-forgotten image that she failed to notice the vampire stalking her or his rapid descent on her position. She failed to see the fangs or the cocky expression on his face as she remained unaware of his presence. Faith only saw _him_.


	2. Part Two: Sing a Song of Memories, A Pocket Full of Lies

* * *

Faith stormed in the front door and made her way up the large staircase. Slayers moved out of her way instinctively – she was fun and quirky, usually the life of the party, but when she was angry, she was a powerful force to be reckoned with.

_And I ain't missing you at all; since you've been gone, away  
I ain't missing you; no matter what I might say _

  
Faith nearly kicked the wall as the mournful sounds of Taylor Swift's 'Missing You' filtered down the hall. Normally she couldn't care less what they listened to, they were allowed to have bad taste in music, but tonight she was epically ticked off and everyone was going to know.

“Turn that damn rubbish off before I break it,” she growled into the room, ignoring the surprised expressions on the teens faces and continuing her path of destruction all the way to her room. She slammed the door hard and pulled down the upturned neck of her shirt to reveal a bloody bite.

The vampire was, of course, dust. It had been a mistake on his part to think she'd be an easy target but hers had been letting her guard down. She'd been so distracted that she didn't even feel the familiar tingle, nor did she hear his footsteps on the fallen leaves surrounding her. Big mistake. She'd definitely felt his fangs sinking into her neck and it had only been her reflexes which prevented her from being just another meal for the undead scum.

Faith set to work pulling out her rubbing alcohol and bandages but was interrupted by her door opening quickly. The blonde merely glanced at her, taking note of the bloody bite mark, before closing the door behind her and walking toward the dresser. Without a word, she picked up the alcohol and the bandages and set to work on cleaning and dressing the roughly torn skin.

When she'd finished, Faith walked over and propped herself up on her bed as she watched Buffy clean up the mess. She watched Buffy as Buffy watched her and was surprised when she sat down on the edge of the bed and stared.

“What?”

Buffy tilted her head. “What's wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong. Just got a little close with a vamp but he's dust and so is this conversation.”

Buffy frowned at her and she resisted the urge to punch her in the face. Why did she have to be so good at reading her? It had been easier when they'd been enemies and Buffy had been indifferent to anything she'd felt. She watched as the blonde waited for an honest response and she bit her lip.

“Sometimes our lives suck B, nothing more, nothing less. If you'll excuse me, I'm tired and need to sleep.”

Buffy reluctantly withdrew from the room and Faith buried her head in her pillow. Hot tears fell and she ignored them just as she tried to ignore him.


	3. Part Three: Quote Me A River

* * *

  
_Light thinks it travels faster than anything, but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always gotten there first, and is waiting for it_ \- Terry Pratchett

  
Her eyes sprang open and she stared at the ceiling. If she closed her eyes and tried to sleep, she'd only see him. And the longer she thought about him, the more she could swear he was talking to her. Faith pulled the photo out from her pocket and gave a soft sigh. No matter how many years had passed, she still remembered every part of his face; every line and scar. It was etched in her memory and she couldn't help but wonder how the years had treated him since – what he looked like, who he was with... if he was still alive.

Their business was a dangerous one and she had been on the rough end of it more than once. When they'd first met, she hadn't known he was a Hunter, nor had he known she was a Slayer. She remembered the night they had gotten attacked by a Gorel demon who had been tracking her and tried to kill her for taking out the rest of the clan. He had ended up on his arse with a very bewildered expression as the girl he was dating proceeded to eliminate the demon in under five minutes.

The terms 'Hunter' and 'Slayer' had been tossed around that night and Faith had wondered if that had changed their relationship to the point it had eventually up reaching. If her Watcher had been alive, she would have gone to her for help, but Faith had been on her own, running from an enemy she couldn't fight.

And he had walked away. Taken her heart with him and left without a trace, without so much as an _'I'm sorry'_. And she had remained behind. Like always.


	4. Part Four: Fear Is An Animal

* * *

_He drew his gun and pointed it at her squarely with only the slightest hint of hesitation._

_“What are you?”_

_She blinked at him and tried to push down the sinking feeling in her gut. Was he somehow connected to one of her enemies? Did he consider her one of his?_

_“Slayer.”_

_The title fell from her lips, almost stumbling as it did so and she looked at him with wide eyes. Her Watcher had mentioned demon hunters who fought for money or revenge. Was he one of those or was he a demon out to destroy them? She hadn't felt anything like that from him but everything had been off since her world fell apart._

_He slowly lowered the gun as he stood and she reached out to help him, only to have him push her away. She frowned in confusion as he stood and gave her an expression something akin to fear and confusion._

_“I'm, I'm gonna head home. Big day tomorrow.”_

_He turned and walked away, leaving her expression to fall and her heart to break. She tried to call after him but found her voice missing and the strength from her body had disappeared. She sank slowly to her knees and looked in his direction long after he had disappeared from view._


	5. Part Five: Colour Me Pink

* * *

_He frowned as she laughed._

_“You cannot be serious! Why do I have to be the one who wears the girly clothes?”_

_“It's not girly. It's a men's shirt and you wanted to go out to a fancy restaurant, hence the fancy clothes.”_

_“But it's pink!”_

_“No, not pink, watermelon. I wanted to go out clubbing – hot, sweaty activity with lots of bonuses...”_

_“Don't do that!” he warned._

_Faith's eyes opened wide in innocence and she held back a laugh as he glared. “Do what?”_

_“Don't play me._

_“Never! But that still doesn't mean that they'll let your hot self walk in half dressed.”_

_He fell back onto the lounge with a groan and looked at the shirt in his hands. She'd seen plenty of watermelons in her time and none of them had ever been so...pink. But she was more than happy to push his buttons._

_“Come on, get your butt up or I'll have to start without you.”_

_He looked up at her and she had a moment to recognise the glint in his eyes before he pulled her into his lap and covered her mouth with hot kisses. The shirt fell, forgotten, as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer._


	6. Part Six: Food of Love

* * *

_“Nachos! The woman at the bar found me irresistible and gave them to me for free.”_

_He grinned cockily and placed the heaping bowl of Nachos before her. The cheese was already melting down the sides and she picked up the first chip within reach. She slurped up the cheese and pretended not to notice his eyes watching her every move. Picking up another and another, Faith ate the entire bowl as tantalising as possible and when she looked back at him, he had practically melted in his seat. She picked up the drink in front of her and gripped the straw softly between her teeth. Her lips slip down over teeth and she grinned as he cleared his throat._

_Looking back at the table he eyed the empty bowl. “I'm sure I could use my charm to get us another bowl.”_

_He wiggled his eyebrows but Faith rolled her eyes and looked across the table at him. “Wow, you really know how to spoil a girl.”_

_He grinned at her as his eyes darted somewhere behind her._

_“How 'bout we have a game of pool?”_

_She grinned and stood. “Now you're talking!”_


	7. Part Seven: Love Me For A Season

* * *

_They walked together down the main street with people milling all around them. They were just two people lost in a crowd and she hadn't felt more at ease since her Watcher was alive. His grip tightened briefly around her waist before he pulled her closer and placed a soft kiss in her hair. Faith smiled and looked up into his face only to see reservation there._

_“What?”_

_His eyes darted to the side before resting back on her and he offered her the smallest of smiles as he drew in an almost unnoticeable breath. Almost._

_“I'm leaving in the morning.”_

_She stopped walking and looked down at the ground as she tried to make sense of what he was saying but the words fell on deaf ears as she looked up at him._

_“... and he's found a new job down south. We're heading down there first thing in the morning-”_

_Faith rounded on him and cut him off as she held up her hand for him to stop. He watched her cautiously and Faith felt the walls she had been so used to building come up again. Her Watcher was dead and she'd had no one – until she'd found him. Could he be so blind as to not see the effect he had on her, of the way he had changed her life?_

_Her eyes darkened in anger and hurt and she asked him the one thing that would make or break her._


	8. Part Eight: Just A Job?

* * *

_“So this was just a job then?”_

_He seemed to deflate before her and she took that as enough of an answer. He hadn't wanted a relationship, their few weeks together had obviously meant more to her than to him and she could have hit herself for being so stupid. She learnt long ago not to trust people – they'd only ever let her down or used her and she'd had enough._

_From memory, her Watcher had said something about another Slayer on the Hellmouth. The Slayer had momentarily drowned and activated the line again before she was revived. If anyone was going to understand any of what she was going through, it would probably be her. They were, after all, the chosen two. They might even one day be friends._

_She noticed he was talking again but it was the hand that was reaching out to her that she took an active interest in. She backed away from him quickly and shook her head._

_“No, there's no need to explain; I get it. It was fun while it lasted.” Faith exerted a confidence she didn't feel and a brusqueness that had once been a staple in her attitude but that she'd foolishly pushed aside. Never again. “Might see you around some time. See ya, Dean Winchester.”_

_She turned around quickly, lest she lose the false demeanour, and ignored his calls as he tried to come after her. Slayer strength, agility and speed had its advantages, especially as it helped her to lose him within a minute._

Faith looked down at the photo in her hands again and noticed that the image was blurry from tears she hadn't even realised were there. She'd watched from a distance as his car drove away from the motel without hesitation and her shoulders squared. She'd bought a ticket for the next bus to Sunnydale and tried to forget about him. Something which had been hard at first but had gotten easier over time. It was only her dreams which occasionally declared war and would sometimes give her a fleeting glimpse of his face.

Faith pushed the photo under her pillow and resolved herself to sleep – a difficult, but not impossible task.


	9. Part Nine: Take A Number

* * *

Faith woke a few hours later to the heat of the sunlight pouring in her window. She groaned, feeling lethargic and aching from her fight the night before. She dressed quickly and headed for the dining room. If she could have some coffee and something to eat before Buffy came down stairs, she could head into the gym and work off some of her frustrations.

A bowl of cereal and half a cup of coffee later, Faith's solitude was interrupted by several cheery teens and a barely awake Dawn. Whilst the cheery ones seemed to avoid the sour mood of the leader, Dawn did no such thing. She made a beeline for Faith and although Faith tried to drink the scalding coffee as quickly as possible, Dawn reached her first and sat down.

“You okay?”

Faith mumbled that she was fine and stood quickly from the table. She went through the motions of washing her dishes and had just returned to the dining area when she spotted Dawn pointing Buffy in her direction. She ignored Buffy's calls and escaped into the gym. She pounded on the punching bag and went through her routine – one she had helped design with Buffy – over and over.

She pounded until her muscles were screaming for a reprieve and sweat was pouring off of her and it was only as she began slowing down that she heard Buffy calling her. She continued to ignore her until she couldn't fight anymore and she pressed her forehead against the punching bag. She swayed with it for a moment before she turned around to face Buffy.

Buffy was standing in the doorway with two men, one of whom she didn't need a second glance to recognise.


	10. Part Ten: Author's Choice

* * *

He visibly gulped and scratched the back of his neck. He'd grown a lot older since she'd last seen him but the years were bound to have done that. She was just surprised that he looked as good as he did. The scar above his right eye was no longer there and Faith wondered what he had been doing in the years since she'd watched him drive off.

The taller man beside him looked on curiously and she merely gave Dean a quick nod before stepping to the side to grab a towel. Dean cleared his throat but no response sounded. She turned around with a blank expression and looked at both men.

“So, apocalypse or is this just a social call?”

“Faith...”

She raised her eyebrows impatiently and Sam took the initiative. “Apocalypse.”

Faith nodded. “Sure. Well, there's a bunch of Slayers here so I'm sure that more than one of them would be willing to help you.”

“Actually, we came for you.”

Faith looked across at Dean but he remained tight-lipped. “What?”

“I... inadvertently released Lucifer and we need the best. Dean said you were the best so we were hoping you could help.”

“Please Faith,” Dean said softly.

Faith struggled internally as she looked at Dean. She didn't know if she could work with him again and not break but if Lucifer really had been released then they were going to need more help than just her – they would need all the Slayers. Faith looked across at Buffy and saw her nod her head slightly. Feeling no other choice was available, Faith nodded slowly and took a deep breath.

“Okay, brief B and me and we'll see what we can do. Sounds like we're gonna need more firepower than the four of us combined though; might have to call in groups from overseas.”

Sensing a plan in motion, Sam and Buffy walked out of the gym toward the conference room. Dean turned back to her and she held up a hand.

“Don't Dean. I can't do this again, I can't break again-”

“I didn't mean to-”

“if I'm about to head into war...again. I've made a lot of mistakes since then, a lot of things I'm not proud of but I'm redeeming myself and that's all I can really do. My point is, I'm not even the same person I was then. We've got a war in front of us so we need to remain a front line. If I survive, you can talk with me about this then.”

Faith threw her towel over her shoulder and walked out of the room. She heard Dean take a deep breath before he followed and she prayed she'd just done the right thing.


End file.
